Why you need to stop doubting yourself
This post isn’t exactly a ‘book blog’ kind of post like I usually write, but it is something that I felt was quite necessary to write about. Because doubt is something I feel like so many people experience throughout their lives and it can be so so consuming.
So often I feel down about myself, thinking people are watching and judging and laughing over the things I do, the decisions I make, and what I say. A lot of the time I don’t realise that I am doing this, because it has become a part of my life so much. These voices in my head, they can influence the way I feel and act, they can drag me down, make me feel insecure about absolutely everything I do. The voices make me doubt myself.
It’s so easy to listen to them, to listen to the voices that say ‘you don’t work hard enough’, ‘you don’t socialise enough’, ‘you don’t have enough friends’, ‘your ideas in class aren’t smart enough’.
But who decides these things? Who says what is enough? All the time I feel like these are things that other people think about me. But it probably isn’t. It’s just me. My doubt of myself.
Somebody will say one small thing about you and you go over and over it, until it takes over, and it becomes so much that you start to believe it, it warps your opinion of yourself, and it stops you from feeling comfortable to be yourself, because you don’t think that you are good enough. That’s how I feel a lot of the time. And I know I am not the only one.
These thoughts are so destructive, it can stop you doing so many things. But as Mary J. Blige says:
I can’t keep doubting myself anymore. No. No I can’t keep doubting myself no more.
If you don’t say something original in class, that’s okay. If you feel like you’re the only one on your own surrounded by everybody that already knows each other, that’s okay. If you feel like you made lots of wrong choices, that’s okay too.
Because it’s you. Not everyone will be like you. You have your quirks and if other people can’t see that it doesn’t matter. But what matters is that you can see it. Don’t let the thoughts take away your strength because you are so so much better than you think you are.
Sometimes you’ll not meet your deadline, or not win the competition, or not get that grade. But that doesn’t mean it all stops, you keep going, and you’ll get there to the top. But get away that doubt, it’s going to get in your way. All those voices? They know nothing. Only you know who you are and what you can do.
So that thing you want to do, but are afraid to do? Do it. You can go to that party tonight. You can leave the house and not feel anxious. You can say that point in class that you’re afraid to say.
This song really helps me when I feel like I can’t do something. You can do it. And you are not all the bad things that your head thinks you are. You are you, not the opinion of somebody else.